Epitaph

Nonetheless; working outside the normal conception of time/ beyond the boundaries of what is allowed by time; is a spiritual world, that alters the definitions of life; in order to save Creation itself. Such is the basic relationship of my own existence to this world. None understand it/ because it is not a common reality of existence, or more distinctly “beyond self”; is exceedingly rare; or even impossible for most of humanity to conceive of.. Because “entrance” into the spiritual world, is fraught with true elements of death. Truth however controls, and if you can find what is absolutely true within you; the invitation can exist for you/ IF you do not fear. Because if you do/ your life can die, or be tossed into the cauldron of dismay as is called schizophrenia. It is no small thing; and I made a very serious mistake at the beginning of my own invitation to join. As is “better not take any chances”/ which proved to be absolutely WRONG! Because only truth matters, and you must be able to identify your own truth/ even if it is less than perfect; it must be your own/ and construct what will survive for you.

Being wrong caused grief/ and it is my thanks to a small family who aided me, by providing value to me; in that time. And it is my belief that I aided them as well. However, the day came when I was again prepared to “enter the spiritual world”/ and I did so; finding a value to me, that can be gained in no other way. But the path of life/ the work of finding a solution to end threats of extinction; required my full participation in “living beyond self”. So I tried to gently end “full or substantial participation” in that family; by suggesting to the mother; “I love you/ but not as much as you need”. She took great offense at that; and told me never come back. Nonetheless I came back after 2-4 months; to ask “should I have anything to do with your children”/ and she said no. So I did not. But continued on my own journey which was about to become “tragic, because of tinnitus and more”. The end result being a lesson: it is wrong to provide any form of romance (I love you enough for this)/ when you cannot stay. Because I became an excuse not to find someone who would stay. Even so; children are important too/ and living is a compromise of what is important to you.

REGARDLESS; life became a battleground for survival, because tinnitus is a true enemy of life. Not even an enemy, would I give it too. However it did teach me to focus and remove ANYTHING; but life. So this is my testimony to you; “believe it or not”.

So without a detailed description of living; the end result of my spiritual existence was separation from humanity/ worth the cost. But working for life on earth; I found men UNABLE to construct a different life/ because power works against them all; leaving only war is left. Which I would not accept. So I ended my participation in this living as time/ and asked to leave this earth; to join eternity instead. Finding myself at the abyss which divides eternity from time/ NO ONE passes over, without a true invitation to join. I did not receive that, but was told “not done yet”/ and sent back in the opposite direction to join time again.

Finding the spiritual world of female; I entered in through a crevice, which was sealed in my presence almost immediately after I passed through it. No escape back. And found myself in a female world, which has ultimately removed all of male. Their insistence: you will NEVER be male again. Way beyond anything expected. But some aspects of that have been written of.

Nonetheless; for roughly 12 years we worked together to form an honest reality of choices; that would keep humanity alive/ and that is, and was: the goal/ purpose of my life. So it was ok: sort of, as a message given to you. However, for the last seven or so years; she has been in charge of everything. Or more distinctly: the spiritual woman and I, as a spiritual man entered into the element of eternity together. The spiritual woman finding THE foreboding FORCE which separates life from eternity itself; and the spiritual male opened that force, “with everything male possible; including my own”/ and they both went through into what was seen as a “very different world”/ but little was allowed to me. Nonetheless everything male went with the spiritual life of me into that eternity; and I became what was left, as is “without male in me”.

A reality beyond conception. But being found, in a female only world; life is now truly being changed. With I am informed means; NOTHING will ever be male again. As female owns it all. And everything male in this world of time; has been broken, to some extent; to insure I know it is true.

So the question is: WHAT happens now? Because life, and truth teaches: I CAN'T be male anymore; its all gone/ and will never come back. And I don't know how to be female? Yet I am destined to become as if I am.

So; all the evidence says: “goodbye to male”. And all the evidence says; “you will become female”. And the composition of me says; “I don't know how”? But there is no freedom, and it is female that owns “my world”. Want has absolutely nothing to do with the truth of it; is real. I have no idea how it all turns out/ including what eternity could become? Everything that was me, has been discarded.

Just so its clear: NOT homosexual or any other form of delusion as is the disease of humanity today. “nothing sexually here for male” at all.

Nothing sexually deviant in my past either; its plain and simple, and without tears for that. Or as for me: female means: “the opposite force, which is called pull”/ and how that will become a very different life in me? “not a clue”. Because while death itself is interesting/ only eternity exists to form my own desire; for life with GOD.

It is a different world for me/ and somehow, I must find a way to be “different as well”. A life I have inherited from male, that can never be fully discarded, from the reality of my own "new" existence. Ownership however; has clearly changed; leaving no room for doubt!

YES, I do know of all the complications possible/ but I cannot avoid my own truth. It is, whatever it is going to be.

It occurs to me; that before the final door closes to male/ there should be an element of life and living that relates to “male to female relationships”.

VALUES, to me are:

1. 
   

   I never lusted (I want to use your body, without you) for any woman, child, etc. because you cannot respect someone, and lust for them. Respect forbids that. So if there is lust/ there is no respect; even if it seems “they want you”/ they do not; instead they want your body, and you don't matter.

   
   


2. 
   

   DO NOT believe, there is only one opportunity to make something that matters; to be noticed or other. Because if it is to be; there will be something that glues you together. But do not use the common “I am pregnant” demand for chains/ as that is unfair, and can easily be a lie. Costs occur to one and all; “just don't do it”.

   
   

   I faced a moment; when I just could not hear that again; all lies, or not. The world comes first; because no life means "no love".

   
   


3. 
   

   Love NEVER chooses to live with hate/ they are opposites; while hate wants to steal from love the ability to survive/ NEVER let that happen, because love is far to precious to lose. And they will never pay you back. So beware of hate, and leave it behind forever; as is the protection of your own life.

   
   


4. 
   

   Be yourself/ you cannot be someone else; it is a lie. And trying to make yourself into someone else makes of you a liar. Stop it; only truth survives, even into eternity. WHY DIE, by your own hand, or deception?

   
   


5. 
   

   Do not judge someone else/ it is unworthy of you. NOBODY is perfect, therefore accept the flaws you can accept; and understand the cost of what fails living with someone else. Unless you walk the same path, of purpose and desire/ it will not last as love. Even if you are content. Let the evidence known to be true; decide for you, as is the law of life, serves us all.

   
   


6. 
   

   Do not gossip or believe; as these produce extreme complications at times for all. Gossip is repeating or pretending to know; even though you know little if anything at all/ their life is not your life; and you cannot know what someone else is doing or why, unless you are them. You aren't.

   
   


7. 
   

   LOVE is a precious gift of life, we cannot love someone else; without sharing that love. But as a gift of love/ YOU HAVE given that love away, and it is no longer yours. Which does cause heartbreak. Once a long time ago; a small girl child did something sweet/ and after my wife left; first on the list was “all females are bad”. But then I remembered “sweet”/ and that allowed me to know; I made decisions too! And it allowed me to think, about why, and I became far more understanding. So you never know what might become a value to someone else s life. Small things matter, because when big things attack; we all need to remember “the value we did share, with care”. Even if, it meant little at the time; “just a sweet thing to do”....but alas; “all believers know”; so they “think”, to themselves..

   
   


8. 
   

   sex is not about the chemicals! IT IS about sharing the value of a life, with someone who honestly cares, loves, and respects who you are. IF you do that only, there will be love. If not, even if you share honestly; people will decide; “not to let you go”. Chains exist/ because tears complicate life.

   
   

   Time is: the value we add to our soul, “with love, hope, trust, and respect to guide our way home”/ without truth you have no soul. Therefore spend your life with those who choose truth. Do not define your life by body!

   
   

   The body is different; it is the distinction of our own freedom to choose. To discipline or not; with order and truth, or not; to become a value to life and living by aiding in survival or not. To honor our existence with life, and its own conception of sex; as is, to ascend beyond self/ or not. To search for destiny, in a quest for greater values than self/ or simply die to fear as is a choice.

   
   

   9. There is no game between the sexes “unless you allow it”/ because truth decides everything of value. And if what you desire is value, no game is desired; only truth decides for us both.

   
   

   10. Romance exists, as the happiness we share, created by care; but formed only from respect. Passion with truth, is built upon a purpose beyond self, that encompasses what we choose together as “just one life”; it is the commitment of time. Not easily built.

   
   11. Discipline defines us all, by creating in life an order conceived by truth, but built upon trust in each other; as the most valued reality of our existence.


9. 12. Order explains: we know the evidence of our own truth, and whether we will listen to that truth or deny it; so to grab for want, and all that means to the descent of life into chaos. Drugs do that, to those who try; some escape/ but all are convicted of “you didn't care” enough.
   

   Living in time, has been a long path into eternity, never a doubt about destiny. However the truth is: I never had a doubt, my existence was male, and could never be changed. “wrong again”/ but the world of all Creation comes first; and my ultimate desire truly was; that it should not be extinct.

   
   

   The value of “spiritual woman” inside; was undeniable/ and made all the difference to this work. As is the cost of being wrong; with universities in charge. Igniting sun fire here, as is a nuclear lets burn atoms fire; should be enough to convince you of extinction. But you are believers, and as believers all you need to do is believe in your cult; the university is god/ and life dies for you.

   
   

   A tragedy of fools; but religion is religion/ and belief is belief/ and the universities cannot be more wrong; in their delusions and fantasies of playing god/ trying to prove they are gods themselves. Followers make that possible/ leaders produce the money/ and media leads the worship. To your shame.

   
   

   So it can be said: male failed entirely, never able to change your ways, for any cause or any reason whatsoever. And that opened the door to female, who balanced male, and made a valiant effort to change humanity, and keep it alive. Yet fools are fools, and religion is religion, and belief is belief; none of which requires truth or evidence; “just believe”.

   
   

   Life then says to you: do not believe/ search for truth, and let it define the path of your living. Because the only thing that will survive death is your own truth.

   
   

   And that functionally and fundamentally means; “if we are to come back to life/ from death; as it cannot be proven so”. The critical test of what is true shall in fact determine what will be our existence. “miracles of life” are enough for me/ but as with university chaos, called evolution and more; it is clearly not enough for the people of their religious cult/ or their beliefs to prove “we won't believe you”. I would suggest; “we cannot both be true”! It is then one choice “miracles of life”/ or the other choice “chaos of death”; to decide your fate.

   
   

   I accept: JESUS as written in the bible new testament; is enough to prove we are not abandoned; as some suggest. To rise once more is entirely up to our Creator; we have no say/ only truth to decide. But truth is always truth, it cannot lie; and there is life within a body of time. Which is where I search.

   
   

   Or as universities demand; “dead is dead forever/ just like the body shall never rise again.  or as I agree; the body shall never rise again/ it is time, not eternal. only life can return as our own existence in truth.

   
   
   
   

   Or in another version of university is wrong: they say, “not to worry about nuclear fire/ BECAUSE there is not enough gravity here to sustain the fire”. IT IS, their only plan.

   
   

   In contrast to that: I say, the nuclear fire PRODUCES the vacuum, that becomes solar gravity itself/ and therefore will draw in all the materials (made from atoms); that will sustain the fire: “just like the sun”. THE LAW of thermodynamics demands it is so.

   
   

   We cannot both be correct; but their version of being wrong is earth becomes a sun.

   
   

   while my version means: WE CANNOT take the risk of being WRONG. OR all life will die.

   
   

   Perhaps female will be more, than I can imagine. "I have no clue"! but the evidence says:  "no human life exists"/ that does not begin inside "woman".