CHANGING SELF #4
The critical question of why. WHY, or (but why) means: I don’t really want/ or desire to do this; and yet I am compelled anyway, and will submit. Examining that reality suggests it influences a wide range of human endeavors/ but the most common relationship we share with “I will do this anyway”; is sexual/ dating/ marriage/ and divorce.
We examine sexual, as the first indication of want: you represent something “I am willing to buy”. Or more simply, when shopping, and you find a prize that you believe “can be paid for”: the question is then “will you pay/ what will you pay with/ when will you pay that price/ where will you negotiate the terms/ who is the recipient of that claim in ownership/ and why do you believe “YOU own”. Discarding the right to be free, is inherent, worthy, and necessary; in us all.
We examine sexual, as a true example of desire, provided along the journey of a relationship between male and female adults. Asking what is this desire for sex, where love participates? Answer, “it is the desire (I give you my heart), to make each other happy! Thereby sex participates in that with a quest in me, “to see joy in you”/ and a quest in you, to understand this is a gift, beyond the simple truth, of body and mind.
We examine dating, between male and female: as the struggle to acknowledge, “what a blessing, someone to truly call MY friend, would be”. Therefrom, each begins this journey with the honor of a life that can be shared. It is a destiny that must be built, one step at a time. Expecting in return, there will be “someone who cares” at journeys end. The critical question begins with honesty, because without truth there will be no trust. Without trust, you will never bind each other together. Many assume “owning each other” is enough/ thereby security, a trophy, perhaps a child, someone to argue with, hopefully contentment, and sex the way you want it to be; could replace love. But it cannot, and never will.
We examine marriage as the relationship of discovery, as in every intimate detail of our lives, will be revealed; whenever the cause of that relationship is respect. Therefrom opening the door, to passions both great and small, IF you are brave enough to tread or accept where the others cannot go. Respect asserts, that I belong to you, as a gift that will not be broken. Or more carefully, respect identifies the very first anchor in friendship, that can last. Respect however is variable, and can disappear. In that day, your relationship has been lost.
We examine divorce, as the end of respect in your relationship/ one or the other or both, have built a stockpile of “failures” that can no longer be overlooked. That fact if left untreated, will cause trust to die. Without trust, there is no marriage, you have failed. So then the real bond of marriage and a relationship that lasts, is truth. The foundation of a relationship that can survive is respect. The elemental values participating in building a relationship that begins our journey together, is truth. While the honor of a life that is lived personally as your own truth, subsequently revealed as your own identity illuminated: constructs an opportunity, that gives someone else a chance to say, “here I am”.
When people search for a long-term companion/ for a lover and a friend: they have said, “I have found value within myself, I have found loneliness that can be healed with love, I have accepted the limits of what I can do or be, and understand the same must be true: for you”.
When people search for a lover, they have said: I have found a value in you, that truth enlarges, as “the heart we share”. A treasury in time, and of time, that begins the discovery of what miracles can truly be. All because we have cared distinctly and without reservation for each other.
When people search for a friend: the reality of respect identifies someone who has chosen to care with their own life. Caring is fundamental to friendship, because nothing less than a desire “to lift you, with me” constructs the staircase of memories, that will become “the time we shared”. The staircase of memories is not a framework of intimacy, as with lovers/ but a relationship that uses respect, I to build one step forward for you, & you to build one step forward for me. The world is then, what we make of it as friends, together.
There are a variety of people who compel themselves or others to do even dangerous things: the list is as long as the reasons people love or hate. Primary to that list is the reality of boredom (I don’t want this, anymore). Or more simply LIFE has not given me a cause today, for living! Therefore they fight with themselves, and they fight with others for something to do, and they fight with realities/ truths/ time/ love/ hate/ sex/ and anything else they can find: to strip the day or night of things they don’t want to find within themselves. It is another form of hiding, from life. But boredom also plants the seed called loneliness, “life has no further value to me/ I have no one to play with”.
We then examine the search itself, “for life”/ and what can or does bring about “dangerous experiments”. These include: “I will love, opening my heart, even soul, to another” OR “I will hate, closing off this entire world, so you, nor anyone else; can never affect me again” OR, “I will discard the world itself, for an intellectual gain, that lets me identify myself with superiority (better, than you all/ you are worthless to me)” OR, “I will search beyond time itself, for all that is real, and without barriers to limit what soul can be”. There are more, but this is enough for a study, in the development of what human society is.
We first start with love, the realities of truth that identify all that honestly has value, purpose, passion, desire, respect, courage, discipline, order, strength, and mercy about life and living. Each one who experiences one or more of these values, creates within themselves the relationship that becomes a journey either for more of this/ or less. How someone might choose for less, is “unfathomable”/ but people do.
Opening the heart, is a compulsion that ends with a door/ this far only, until you prove worthy. Until I can or do trust you, to be fair and considerate and respectful to me. Those who gain trust, proceed into heart. Heart means: everything about my life and living are now vulnerable to the knowledge that you have/ which means, I can be wounded by the things you know and choose to do against me now. Liars exist, and people are damaged. Want exists, and people fail to respect: I HAVE a choice in this, just like you. Or, “our relationship CANNOT be, only what you want”. Desire also exists as the elements which shape our truth into a passage between souls. Soul means: I have a relationship with GOD, our Creator/ as must you, TO SHARE soul. Nothing is more dangerous to reveal, unless absolute acceptance as trust in GOD has already been attained, by each. If one fails, the other must now carry you too/ not simply their own life. Choose only GOD FIRST!
HATE is both grown and developed by the realities you choose for yourself, with your own time and purposes. Hate is not anger, which has a cause that can be dealt with; to make anger dissipate in truth. Rather hate is a decision, that allows there is no consideration or purpose in allowing people or “life”; any cause at all, to be accepted/ or defined with value/ or equal/ or respected, other than for violence. Hate is a measurement, that solidifies against all life. Because that eliminates the presence of people and life in their lives; hate learns to be a LIAR. Which then reveals itself by want, traps, terrorism, and all things which are directed and intended to harm, and thereby hate (not only worthless, but judged “as against me”/ so I will stop you, by playing god, as in devil).
Intellectual means: “I believe” the game of life, is best played, when I rule! The opposite of intellectual means: “I believe” the game of life is best played, when I win. The reality of intellectual at every stage is: by concocting a game, or building a trap, or manipulating a person, or tempting want to go a little farther, or doing what other people are afraid to do. THEN I have proven to be superior. Consequently all should bow down to me/ or give me praise, because I did what they could not, or would not do. It is a life destroyed by loneliness, in many cases. A life that did not find love has more value, than a trophy.
We then accept, that the boundaries beyond time, which identify and create a study designed to reveal life itself: are realities in experience that are NOT the same, as with everything or everyone else called time. That reality of expression, winds its way through all manner of obstruction, and lives inside the human experience only as an absolute need to encounter life itself. Those who find this need, do find themselves asking “BUT WHY”/ while that answer is never obvious, it is the beginning of a trail, that leads within the depths, cracks, and crevices of what it means “to be you”. Within these things, the realities of what “MUST be cleaned” become apparent. If you clean house/ then the realities of what has true value, do become visible. The methods are varied/ but the reality is constant: you must think for yourself/ and not be influenced by what other people simply believe. Only truth matters!
We end with compulsion, with a quick review of common habits. Those who find themselves addicted, are looking for control with cigarettes (this is my time, my choice; you can’t make me stop)/ with pain killers, they are saying “my life hurts me, & I need relief”; even if that is an exaggeration they want change. Want lies! With various other drugs, these choose to escape reality, because they want the fantasy that life can be whatever they want it to be. Even though it cannot. Every choice is a direction/ therefore every choice becomes the path to a destiny. OR, it is fate (no more choices) becoming a road into your own little version of hell. Each is a decision/ and it is very easy to fall into failures. When that happens to you/ STOP, re-gather your senses and participate in discipline (the simple way is religion)/ then regain order, with a renewed reality that follows only truth. Because truth keeps us alive, and grants the understanding to do, and direct, what we desire for life to be.