Of things beyond “the work”/ now completed; is the truth, I am not free. I guess it is the spiritual truth, that I am not female/ but confined by a female world, with no possibility of escape. Or it would seem, unless I become “female”; there is no freedom here for me. So, I try; but it is hard, and I am completely without a true understanding of who I need to be?
The question is then: of spiritual life, only truth lets you be free/ and there is no place for male, or even “the remembrance of male”, in a female spiritual world. ITS COMPLICATED! And yet, my entire life in time; knew not, the slightest trace of female, in me. “beyond my grasp”. Even though she can now, “make me female”, I don’t understand it/ not doing well. Although “she (owner of the entire world of female truths) is extremely determined”/ and it seems “eternal”; to some extent, here. Because the end result is: “without spiritual” there is no life in time; and that translates to “she owns me”. As death is: the only other option. And I; literally seem to be given over to female, without exception. So if I die to their world/ and I have died to the male world; WHAT could realistically be left? “it ain’t god”; so I need to survive; until taken. “life is fundamentally, without choices”; other than endure. the question is then: IS THAT “female”? In this world? “not my right to answer that”. However it is noted: “not my ex-wife (2 years/ no children)”, at all/ who demanded “she was a liberated woman”/ and would not be like her mother. she was not/ as are many!
Noted: she wanted “a normal life/ (lets be like everyone else) and expected to change me”. I went as far as I could go without changing me entirely; it did not work out. I was committed to changing a world.
Even so; some unfortunately, are, forced to endure.
Even so: “freedom is NOT male or female”/ but a truth conceived by the consequences of a very limited boundary of order and disciplines; which allow the opportunity, to just be me, as I see fit to be. That ultimately means; some degree of law would allow for freedom, even if “life cannot be considered male or female” at this time.
I am however being instructed, in many ways; in what female life has been like; in this male dominated world. Much is a failure of men/ but some also a cost of what women think; regardless of truth. “they want what they want too”. And that is NOT “strictly true to female”. It is belief, and all or most; of the problems of male added in,
I would never have guessed; this is the cost of the work. Even so; to fight for a world, is an honor/ and overall, the actual price to life itself, is low. SO, I will do the best I can/ and however long it takes to become “whatever it is, I am supposed to be”; will just have to take care of itself.
Or, if that fails: I MUST find a way, to live in a world of truth, where females desire me to live here, functionally; “not male”/ too. There is no exit/ there is no fundamental clue! it is, a quagmire. “no male allowed; is truth”/ only “fe-male”, period. and WHAT does that ultimately mean, to my own existence? “can’t just add it on”. lost, again!
IN OTHER REAL LIFE NEWS, as time dictates for us all. It is a constant of living that meeting other people is much harder than it ought to be. So in years past at www.brainfirst.info I suggested a method to ease that problem “of people meeting people”/ you can find it. Even trying to get that off the ground, so when I was free of this work/ there would be a place “for me too”. But while it was working, it was also taking a lot of my time; and that would not work for me. As reality required “an entire life/ and tinnitus took all the rest”. It is free; if you are willing to spend the time; I suggest you try it; “for life, beyond self”.
I truly did not know: this work, would take an entire lifetime; and even change life itself.
Just so its clear: the entire www.justtalking7.info site; is about the search for WHAT WOULD humanity listen too, as applied to this work and its purpose? Answer “nothing at all”; alas cult worshipers, of university is god. Believers never need truth or consequences; “they know it all”/ regardless of reality.
